We are all adjusting to a new normal as we are continuously reminded of social distancing by every available media outlet. This can be challenging at times because it’s a drastic change for most of us – whether you are by yourself, working while your children are remote- learning, have roommates, family, etc. – it requires patience.
There are those who, no matter the circumstances, know how to make lemonade out of lemons, and then there are those who see this situation as absolutely horrible. No matter where you fall on the spectrum, times of crisis and change provide us with growth opportunities (“silver-linings”) if we choose to take them.
These opportunities do not have to be profound. In fact, some of our most meaningful changes are small. For example, when my daughter was much younger, I had a conversation with her about trying to work harder at solving problems on her own before asking for help. Prior to that conversation she was constantly asking me for assistance. I realized I was actually part of the problem by typically granting her requests. As a parent we want our children to be independent, resilient, problem solvers. My daughter looked at me and simply said, “okay”.
On a warm sunny day we were outside an ice cream store eating chocolate ice cream when a prospective client of mine walked by. We started chatting about offering a series of dining etiquette programs at her school. I didn’t realize it at the time, but my daughter finished eating her ice cream and a significant amount of chocolate ice cream was on her face and down her arms. She pulled my arm as a sign that she wanted me. I asked if it could wait a minute and she said, “yes”. What I couldn’t see was that she was aggressively licking her fingers and using the moisture on her fingers to clean her face (similar to a cat). The entire time I was promoting my dining program, my own child was cleaning herself like an animal. After the conversation and realization of what had happened, my daughter looked at me with a huge, proud smile. She said, “Mom, good thing I fixed the ice cream problem by myself”. The first reaction in my head was “oh no”; especially while promoting a dining program. Then luckily, I took a deep breath, smiled back and praised her for solving her problem in such a creative way. In the bigger scheme of things, she solved her own problem and displayed patience.
The quarantine is forcing us to solve problems and be patient with one another. Maybe how you would solve a problem is not the way someone else solves a problem. Either way, your reaction is what matters most. This requires thought and patience.
- If you are going to disagree, do it with kindness. If possible, compliment someone for their input and re-state their position, indicating you were listening.
- If the solution is not ideal, but workable, pause for a moment to think about whether this is worth having a battle over.
- Always thank others for their effort and contribution.
Improving one’s patience, while seemingly odd at first glance, might be one of those small positive growth opportunities from this situation.